Archive for June, 2010

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Diabetes burnout?

June 18, 2010

Most of the time, I’m completely fine that I’ve had this disease for so long. I’m completely fine explaining that yes, I am healthy and can have kids at some point. I’m usually pretty patient when someone says a completely ignorant comment (although my mind is screaming otherwise) and try my best to give them the correct information. I’m even patient when someone tells me, “Oh, diabetes! Yeah, that’s what caused my grandmother’s brother’s wife’s uncle’s cousin to go blind and have her leg cut off.”

But sometimes…sometimes it’s just too much, and I feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders by trying to deal with all of this on my own. It pains me that I don’t really have anyone around me who can relate. Most of my solace is found on Twitter, Facebook, blogs, and forums, where I can interact with fellow type 1’s and we can all share in our joy and misery. While I’m not as close to the diabetes online community as I’d like to be, just knowing someone is there makes me feel better.

But sometimes I wish I could just pick up the phone (or I guess, in this day and age, text message and/or IM) and vent to someone who just knows.

Knows without my having to explain what a basal rate is and that I think mine off and needs to be tweaked.

Knows that it’s just one of those days where I’m bouncing all over the place for no reason.

Knows that, when I towel off after a shower, or get dressed in the morning, I need to pause for a second to think about where my pod and sensor are placed so I don’t end up knocking them off.

Knows that, when I choose a seat on the bus or train, I need to pause for a second to think about where my pod and sensor are placed so someone else doesn’t knock them off.

Knows that even though you are or you have lived with this, mine is not the same as yours and vice versa, and no, you cannot “literally feel my pain.”

Knows the excitement of getting a 6.2 A1C back from the lab, or having a fasting bg of under 100.

Knows that a beeping sound isn’t freaking me out because it’s a high-pitched noise, but because I’m scared it’s my pod malfunctioning.

Knows the highs and lows (literally and emotionally) of living with this.

I’m not quite sure if what I’m feeling qualifies as burnout. I don’t match up with the symptoms of depression. I honestly don’t know about this rut I’ve been in for the past few days, but I do know that sometimes I just need someone who knows what’s up without me having to explain the story of my life.

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Endo visit, spring 2010

June 13, 2010

I paid my endo a visit this past Friday, and the visit went well as usual. We did some tweaking to my basal rates, since I’ve been experiencing this weird spike around 9am and drops around 4pm. I joked and said I go high in the morning from the stress of going to work and low in the afternoon because I’m about to leave work.

So far, so good on the basal changes. Yesterday was just a strange day in general, with my blood sugar bouncing all over the place for no apparent reason. I bolused and drank juice more times than I care to count. Felt like I was chasing a crazy toddler all day and night.

On the A1C front, I’m not sure how I’ll be doing this time around. The last one I posted had me at 6.5, but that was a while ago. Since then I hit the magical 6.0, but in March of this year I was up at 6.2. Bummer, but my doc said I’m doing well. Looking at CGM graphs always freaks me out because of those unexplainable spikes, but hopefully everything will even out.

To end on a happier note, here’s a picture of two things that make me happy: diet Snapple and the DexCom. :)

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Snapple!

June 10, 2010

I hardly watch tv, but the other week (or maybe it was longer than that?) I was flipping through channels and landed on Celebrity Apprentice. It was the season finale, with Bret Michaels up against Holly Robinson Peete. You can take a wild guess as to who I was rooting for. ;) Both good causes, but Bret’s experience obviously hit a little closer to home.

I especially liked the part about them making their own Snapple flavors, and I was sort of anxious to get my hands on one. The Bret one, because the Holly one would have shot my blood sugar into oblivion.

I never really looked for it, but I was pleasantly surprised when I saw a whole row of them at a local Wawa! It’s pretty good too…but because it’s pretty different from the other diet flavors, I would momentarily freak out and check the bottle to make sure it said DIET on it.

Even Chris likes it, so I’ll definitely be buying this from now on to support diabetes research.